A dream is meant to be a dream.. it will never come true

Hi

Well.. it’s the topic of her again..

Many ppl have asked.. y do u set up a blog? Blogs are only for those girls whom talk abt their daily lives with some posting cute pictures of their daily activity.. and for those guys who set up blogs are gays.. or they are just ugly and lonely.. But I set up this blog site is for her.. I wanted her to know that in this small part of the world.. in a small estate of a small country, Singapore, there’s still a lonely insignificant guy waiting for her.. Loving her deeply in his heart…

Many ppl have also asked.. does a combat medic in SAF really tt slack? Too slack to allow me to think of her every day? Every moment? NO! It’s NOT.. we do have our own training.. but to me, thinking of her makes me thinks of nothing else but her.. not to bother abt those childish platoon mates.. Whom likes to have prejudices against a certain group of ppl.. they just can’t seems to grow up.. and for every tough training, it’s only her tt I could think of to make myself motivate to move on.. it has since been a mental support for me.. but without her knowing it…

I have also started to wonder… hmmm AH HENG could just easily find a girl and be his gf from one of the outpost duty assigned to him.. He’s just a lucky guy.. tony.. has also started to date a girl.. with a toy frog from whom we believe to be a girl’s gift placing it by the side of his pillow… KB.. has so many girls around him.. and he still dunnoe who he likes.. there’s so many ppl starting to be in love.. and yet the bastard stole my happiness away… I always wonder.. do girls really like bad guy? There’s a saying in Chinese.. “ nan ren bu huai, nui ren bu ai” ( ‘guys not naughty enough, no girls will like’ literally translate) does it really mean I got to be stealing away other ppl’s gf then I will be able to find my happiness too??

Okie back to topic.. the dream.. there’s a series of events tt past..

Fri.. hurray it’s book out day.. I went home.. took a bus back.. Listening to my mp3 player.. ever since we broke off, I had been searching for songs that delicate to my heart.. sad songs especially.. and starts thinking abt her again.. I walk home from the bus stop and bypass the market and hawker centre.. FLASH!.. I saw a HER and a guy.. OH NO!!.. it’s really her.. I have been wanting so much to meet her.. to see her.. to see how much she has changed.. I was stoned.. I couldn’t react.. I did not know what to react.. she was holding his hand.. talking and very intimate.. she saw me.. but acted like as if we were strangers.. there was a lot of things in my mind running.. I could treat it as if nothing had happened and walked on.. or I could treat it like I had really gotten over her.. and walk up to her to say hi.. and chit chat like a long lost friend.. but I couldn’t.. the sight of that bastard.. makes me more agitated.. he makes me feel more like taking a jet knife from my pouch and walk up to him stab him in his back and went off.. I choose the 1st option.. I walked on and turned back for a last glance at her.. SHE gave me a BIG FAT UGLY smile.. as if asking me to FUCK OFF.. I was very upset..I had long for this day to come and it was like kinda a dream come true.. (or rather it was a nightmare tt came true) I knew there will be a day I will meet the both of them together hugging and kissing.. but I did not expect it to be on such a day… the bastard lives in my estate.. so they came over to the hawker centre for dinner b4 proceeding to his house I believe.. at that moment, it was just like watching a tv drama.. a guy witnessing his ex-gf with another guy walking along the streets.. I never expect myself to be witnessing that until tt day.. I really do not know how…

This afternoon.. after last night’s event, I woke up early after umpteen times of disturbance by my parents.. I went to sleep again at noon time.. this time I had a beautiful dream.. a dream tt would never happen again.. yes it’s abt her.. I dreamt abt her.. I couldn’t remember the events prior leading to the dreams.. but here’s how it goes.. I dream tt I met her.. she told me she broke off with her now bf to be with me.. I was puzzled.. I asked her why.. she told me it was becoz of me.. she still loves me.. I was puzzled too.. I said NO! to her though I wanted it so bad.. I told her I knew she still loves him.. with that I woke up upon the rings of the telephone.. arghh.. it made me so du lan.. I wanted to continue back the dream.. but well I guess I couldn’t…It was such a nice dream.. In the dream, we hugged each other.. just like what we used to do in the past.. I wanted to hug her and not to let go…she choose to stay close to me.. but it really makes me wonder.. what if it really happens? What should I do? I am so confused.. well after all it’s just a dream.. a dream tt will never come true..

Arhg it’s another mon again.. got to book in again.. it’s another week of tough missing of her and thinking of her again in a room shared with 6 more other guys…ARHG….